Happy Passover 2008

* Thanks To David Letterman *

Jewish people are celebrating Passover this weekend. For those of you who do not know a lot about the holiday, here is some valuable information….

During the seven-day holiday known as Passover, Jews refrain from eating bread to commemorate Moses triumphantly losing 19 pounds on a low-carb diet.

This concludes our ‘Let’s Learn About Passover’ segment.

The Open Toed Shoe Pledge


(I did not write this, however, this must be shared….)

Alright ladies, it’s that time of year once again!!! I think we need to be reminded of a few things. So my sisters, PLEASE, raise your big toes and repeat after me below….As a member of the Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow ‘The Rules’ when wearing sandals and other open-toe shoes:

I promise to always wear sandals that fit.
My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs.
And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free.
I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.

I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

I won’t wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

If a strap breaks, I won’t duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl’s if my feet need him.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the! kids’ sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good.

I will promise if I wear flip flops that I will ensure that they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

I will promise to go to my local nail salon at least once per season and have a real pedicure (they are about $35 and worth EVERY penny).

I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear… nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals.

PINKY TOE SWEAR.

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American Idol- Season Seven- Top 7

And here is what I thought of last night’s performances:

Side Bar: Um… Is it just me or has Mariah Carey turned into what appears to be a full-fledged ‘Ho-Bag’?

Anyway. On to the contestants….(in no particular order.)

Syesha Mercado:

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She sang, Vanishing (which I have never heard by Mariah) so I didn’t really have something to compare it to. First of all, she looked Fan-Fucking-Tastic. Secondly, I thought she sang her little heart out. She ran with those notes. She worked that stage. And did done good.

Jason Castro:

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He sang, another Mariah song that I did not know. However, he also managed to pull off a pretty decent performance. I mean, no, he is not as talented as some of the other contestants, but he wasn’t awful. But if he would just cut that damn hair he would be absolutely stunning.

Kristy Lee Cook:

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Country Chick gave Mariah Carey goose bumps? I think Mariah needs to start getting drug tested. She must be drinking out of the same cup as Paula. While I loved her hair, I thought her performance was flat. Flat. Dull. Blah. Boring. Big deal, she hit One Good Note all the way at the end. The rest, ‘forgettable’.

David Cook:

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Hm…. Always Be My Baby. Well, I know that song very well. It is one of my all time favorite Maraiah songs. Like Ever. I could never imagine a man singing this version, and I have to say……..

I am ‘In Love’ with his version. I can not get over what he did to the end of that song. Holy Fucking Amazing. That is ready to be in a movie sound track. He was absolutely brilliant. That is the David Cook I have come to love this season. He has transformed every single song and made it his own.

Carly Smithson:

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She sang, Without You, and she redeemed herself from last weeks disaster. I loved her version of that song, and I loved her dress. (It was almost shocking to see her look like a lady last night.) Well Done. For ONCE I disagreed with Simon.

David Archuleta:

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Aw. He was so overwhelmed when he met Mariah Carey. That was adorable. As for his singing, he was amazing. There is no question in my mind this kid is going to be around for a Long Ass Time. Simply Terrific. What a perfect way to start the evening.

Brooke White:

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Yep. Still Crazy. There is something in her eyes…that freaks me out a little. A Lot. As for her singing, Hero, I was unimpressed. She sang way too fast, way too raspy, way too rushed. It was a very forced, rather pitchy and an off key effort. And now I am done with her. (PS: I am cringing at the thought/idea of a ‘card-board-cut-out’ of her sitting at any wedding reception.)

I think Syesha, KLC, and Brooke might be in The Bottom Three. Who are your guesses for going home this week?

American Idol: Season Seven – Top 8

Okay. Since I promised someone my review and I am a woman of my word, I bring to you the American Idol Top 8 performances of last night.

Michael Johns:

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I thought his performance was like an impersonation of Aerosmith. And a very bad one. I am so “over” him.

Syesha Mercado:

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A slow start to one of the greatest songs ever sung on that stage. However, when she took off, she really took off. The song may have been a little too big for her, but over all, I have to say ‘good job’.

Jason Castro:

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He sand my all-time favorite version of Somewhere Over The Rainbow. And, even though I thought he messed up the lyrics, no one mentioned that. So I might be wrong. Anyway. He did the song justice. Kudos.

Kristy Lee Cook:

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I never heard the song she sang before. So I didn’t have anyone or anything to compare her version to. I have to base her performance strictly on her own merit. I gotta give credit where credit is due, for not sucking. But I wasn’t blown away. Until the end. She got me. (I need to get my hands on that outfit.)

David Cook:

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What the fuck was that? Um. I have no idea what happened. Much to my surprise, that was an awful song choice for him, he almost seemed off beat at one point. At least he redeemed himself in the end with the wicked coolness of writing the message to give back on the palm of his hand.

Carly Smithson:

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Meh. I liked her makeup.

David Archuleta:

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He sang “Angel”. Hello. He IS an ANGEL. I cannot believe this kid is only 17. His voice is so effortless. Love Him.

Brooke White:

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While I stand by my theory she is a crazy person, she managed to close the night quite well. Maybe I am just way too emotionally attached to that song and therefore was temporarily blinded.

And there you have it.

Who do you think is in danger of going home on Thursday?

My Guesses?

Carly Smithson and/or Micheal Johns.

American Idol x 3

That right.

Just as I promised to ‘someone‘ I intend to do my very best and post all three days about American Idol this week.

-Tonight we get to watch the the final 8 perform. (And I plan on doing an in-depth recap for ‘her‘ tomorrow).

-Wednesday we will have the super-fabulous-totally-awesome Idol Gives Back, which I personally think is greatness.

-And on Thursday we will have the Results episode.

So be prepared to dish Idol all week over here!

New Amsterdam

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Thanks to being in a coma for almost two weeks with mono, I must have missed an important episode. I was completely lost when I saw the opening scene last night. Um. When? And How? Did John and little miss Doctor Sarah “officially” hook-up? Someone PLEASE fill me in!

I can say that even though I missed out on last week, this week’s episode was excellent. Normally I am not into the ‘crime investigation’ as much as I am into the ‘other plot lines’, but I really liked this particular case in addition to the ‘fluff.’

Trying to solve the Murder of a man who was still Living, and was a dirty cop? Awesome.

Want to know more about the show? Click here.