Interesting Facts

1.    Budweiser  beer conditions the hair

2.     Pam cooking spray will dry finger nail polish

3.     Cool whip will condition your hair in 15 minutes

4.    Mayonnaise will KILL LICE, it will also condition your hair

5.     Elmer’s Glue – paint on your face, allow it to dry, peel off and see the dead skin and blackheads

6.    Shiny Hair – use brewed Lipton Tea

7.    Sunburn – empty a large jar of Nestea into your bath water

8.    Minor burn – Colgate or Crest toothpaste

9.    Burn your tongue? Put sugar On it!

10.  Arthritis?   WD-40 Spray and rub in, kill insect stings too

11.  Bee stings – meat tenderizer

12.  Chigger bite – Preparation H

13.  Puffy eyes – Preparation H

14.  Paper cut – crazy glue or chap stick (glue is used instead of sutures at most hospitals)

15.  Stinky feet – Jell-O!

16.  Athletes feet – cornstarch

17.  Fungus on toenails or fingernails – Vicks vapor rub

18.  Kool aid To clean dishwasher pipes. Just put in the detergent section and run a cycle, it will also clean a toilet. (Wow, and we drink this stuff)

19.   Kool Aid can be used as a dye in paint also Kool Aid in Dannon Plain yogurt as a finger paint, your kids will love it and it won’t hurt them if they eat it!

20.  Peanut butter – will get scratches out of CD’s!  Wipe off with a coffee filter paper

21.  Sticking bicycle chain – Pam no-stick cooking spray

22.  Pam Will also remove paint, and grease from your hands!  Keep a can in your garage for your hubby

23.  Peanut butter will remove ink from the face of dolls

24.  When the doll clothes are hard to put on, sprinkle with  corn starch and watch them slide on

25.  Heavy dandruff – pour on the vinegar !

26.  Body paint – Crisco Mixed with food coloring.  Heat the Crisco in the microwave, pour in to an empty film container and mix with the food color of your choice!

27.  Tie Dye T-shirt – mix a solution of Kool Aid  in a container, tie a rubber band around a section of the T-shirt and soak

28.  Preserving a newspaper clipping – large bottle of club soda and cup of milk of magnesia , Soak for 20 min. And let dry, will last for many years!

29.  A Slinky  will hold toast and CD’s!

30.  To keep goggles and glasses from fogging, coat with Colgate toothpaste

31.  Wine stains, pour on the Morton salt  and watch it absorb into the salt.

32.  To remove wax – Take a paper towel and iron it over the wax stain, it will absorb into the towel.

33.  Remove labels off glassware etc. Rub with Peanut butter !

34.  Baked on food – fill container with water, get a Bounce paper  fabric softener and the baked on food  will soften and become very easy to wipe off.  Soak overnight.  Also; you can use 2   Efferdent tablets, Soak overnight!

35.  Crayon on the wall – Colgate Toothpaste and brush it!

36.  Dirty grout – Listerine

37.  Stains on clothes – Colgate

38.  Grass stains –   Karo Syrup

39.  Grease Stains – Coca Cola, It will also remove grease stains from the driveway overnight.  We know it will take corrosion from car batteries!

40.  Fleas in your carpet?  20 Mule Team Borax – Sprinkle and let stand for 24 hours.  Maybe this will work if you get them back again.

41.  To keep FRESH FLOWERS longer Add a little Clorox, or 2 Bayer aspirin,  or just use 7- Up instead of water.

42.  When you go to buy bread in the grocery store, have you ever wondered which is the freshest, so you “squeeze” for freshness or softness?  Did you know that bread is delivered fresh to the stores five days a week?  Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday.  Each day has a different color twist tie.  They are:

Monday = Blue,

Tuesday = Green,

Thursday = Red
Friday = White

Saturday = Yellow.

(I guess they don’t bake bread on Wednesday).  So if today was Thursday, you would want red twist tie; not white which is Fridays (almost a week old)!  The colors go alphabetically by color Blue – Green – Red – White – Yellow  –  Monday through Saturday.  Very easy to remember.

Carnation Milk

The next time you open a can of Carnation evaporated milk for your recipes, just smile and think of this little old lady from North Carolina who had worked in and around her family dairy farms since she was old enough to walk, with hours of hard work and little compensation.

When canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery stores, she read an advertisement offering $5,000 for the best slogan/rhyme beginning with “Carnation Milk is best of all.” She sent in her entry, and about a week later, a black limo drove up in front of her house. A man got out and said, ” Carnation ‘LOVED’ your entry so much, that even though we will not be able to use it, we are here to award you a consolation prize of $1000 that we’ve made available just for the originality of your entry.

Here is her original entry:-

Carnation milk is best of all,
No tits to pull, no hay to haul
No buckets to wash, no shit to pitch,
Just poke a hole in that son-of-a-bitch.

Darwin Awards Take A Back Seat To The American Legal System!!!

 Time once again to review the winners of the Annual  “Stella Lawsuit Awards.”

The Stella Awards are named after 81 year-old Stella Liebeck, who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald’s. That case inspired the Stella Lawsuit Awards for the most frivolous, ridiculous, stupid, but successful lawsuits in the United States.

Here are this year’s winners…….

5th Place (tie):
-Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000, by a jury of her peers, after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owner of the store was understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson’s own son.

-19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn’t notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when  he was trying to steal the car’s hubcaps.

-Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing, by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn’t re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner’s insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed, to the tune of $500,000.

In my opinion, this is so outrageous that it should have been 2nd place!

4th Place:
-Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bit on the buttocks by his next door neighbor’s beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner’s fenced yard. The award was less than what Mr. Williams sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams, who had climbed over the fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd Place:
-A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of  Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her tailbone. The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

2nd Place:
-Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

1st Place:
-This year’s runaway winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver’s seat to go into the back to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed an d overturned. Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner’s manual that she couldn’t actually do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other total morons around.

Um. Wow.  

PEONIES

This photo was captured at 115th and Allisonville Rd. in Fishers Indianapolis. The sign is real and was up for two hours before someone stopped and told them how to spell

PEONIES!

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She’s Got the Look

PREMIERES TONIGHT WEDNESDAY, JUNE 4 at 10PM ON TV LAND

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I am not really sure how I feel about this show.

The premise of the show is to find the next face of fashion industry, with a twist. All of the woman competing are 35 or older who exudes sophistication, beauty and confidence.

I am all about upping the AGE (and SIZE) of the women typically shown in magazines and commercials. I am a fan of the “Real Women Look Like This” a quiet trend that seems to be slowly making its way into fashion.

The competition for ‘She’s Got The Look’ begins with a nationwide search, narrowing it down to twenty semi-finalists who are then flown to New York and immediately put to the test in their first ‘Photo Shoot’ where they must then face the judges.

Ten of the 25 ladies will be immediately sent home.

The ten remaining finalists remain in New York, where they will compete for the opportunity of a lifetime-a lucrative contract with Wilhelmina Models and a photo spread in SELF Magazine.

While I am *fully* behind the concept that any woman at any age can be fully beautiful. However, I did not like one of the commercials I saw for the show, wherein they make rude comment along the lines of “how can you put a woman over 35 in a bathing suit like that.” Um… I happen to know plenty of 35+ women who look better than any 25 year old. And AGE exudes more confidence naturally.

I will definitely be checking this out…with the high hopes of this TV show acting as a catalyst – the beginning of the possibly changing the face (and raising the bar) for what is considered an acceptable age and size of women round the world.

I will write a full review after I have watched a complete episode from beginning to end.

* Supermodel Kim Alexis, who has graced the cover of more than 500 magazines, will host She’s Got The Look. Supermodel Beverly Johnson, who made history as the first African-American model to grace the cover of American Vogue, celebrity stylist Robert Verdi and Wilhelmina President Sean Patterson will be featured as judges on the series

You Know You Grew Up In the 80’s If:

You’ve ever ended a sentence with the word SIKE.

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You can sing the rap to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and can do the Carlton

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You know that “WOAH” comes from Joey on Blossom

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If you ever watched “Fraggle Rock”

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It was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.

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You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.

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You played the game “MASH”(Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House)

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You wore stonewashed Jordache jean jackets and were proud of it.

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You know the profound meaning of ” WAX ON , WAX OFF”

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You wanted to be a Goonie.

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You ever wore fluorescent clothing. (some of us…head-to-toe)

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You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off and his cheeks shifted.

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You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.

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You took lunch boxes to school…and traded Garbage Pailkids in the schoolyard.

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You still get the urge to say “NOT” after every sentence.

You ever owned a pair of Jelly-Shoes.

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You remember “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up”


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You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates.

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You have ever played with a Skip-It.

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You remember boom boxes and walking around with one on your shoulder like you were all that.

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You remember watching both Gremlins movies.

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You thought Doogie Howser/Samantha Micelli was hot.

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You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac.

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You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool…and don’t even flinch when people refer to them as “NKOTB”

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You knew all the characters names and their life stories on “Saved By The Bell,” The ORIGINAL class.

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You know all the words to Bon Jovi – SHOT THROUGH THE HEART.

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You just sang those words to yourself.

You still sing “We are the World”

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You tight rolled your jeans.

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You owned a bannana clip.

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You remember “Where’s the Beef?”

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You used to (and probably still do) say “What you talkin’ ’bout Willis?”

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You’re still singing shot through the heart in your head, aren’t you!

Trashy Summer Televison

Most of you know that outside of the Fox network, or All Things Dexter, I spend most of my television watching hours on the E! Channel. And this summer E! brings not one but two Trashy Television Treats my way.Lets get started shall we!

1. Denise Richards – It’s Complicated.

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Okay. Okay. I know this isn’t something I should be watching. At. All. It’s absolutely awful. Literally despicable. But no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to look away. (And no. That’s not just because there is NOTHING else to watch on Sunday nights at 10pm.)

“Opening up her life for the first time Denise Richards lays it all on the line. Follow the high-profile star as she navigates Hollywood, romance and motherhood after a tumultuous year in the tabloids”

From what I saw, it was nothing but a bunch of Bad Choices, Bad Interviews, and even Bad Clothing. Um…Yeah. To be fair, I will give Denise Richards some credit for giving us a slice of the sought after T.M.I. But, so far all I can say is “Congratulations Denise, you some how made me feel sorry for Charlie Sheen.

Next Up? The show I have secretly been waiting for.

2 . Dina & Ali – Living Lohan

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“Being a manager’s tough. Being a mom’s tougher. Follow Dina Lohan as she guides daughter Ali toward a shot at stardom.”

OMFG. Again, I know this isn’t something I should be watching. At. All. However, this comes on the E! Channel (directly after the above mentioned disaster at 1030 pm Sunday nights.)

Since I am slightly obsessed with Lindsay, I was curious to get a glimpse into the world from which she came. Dina? What can I say about Dina Lohan. Nothing Nice. That’s for sure. And Ali? Ali Lohan. I can’t believe she is only 14 years old. To quote my one of my favorite TV Host/Comedian/Writers Chelsea HandlerAli Lohan acts like an 85 year old woman from Boca Raton Florida.”

This family is a real live slow motion train wreck. I am fully amazed LINDSAY is even remotely capable of interacting with the rest of society. Let alone keeping a girlfriend.

To say that I am Horrified by Dina Lohan is an UNDERSTATEMENT.

“This is a family that knows how to roll with the punches and come out on top. Dina is an incredibly hard-working, passionate mom that I think our viewers will find both relatable and highly entertaining.”

* Translation *

This is a family that knows how to roll with the punches suffering from a long genetic history of metal illness and come out on top that is frightening for the general public to witness. Dina is an incredibly hard-working, passionate mom media whore psycho-path, vicariously living out her personal fantasies for fame and fortune by using her own children. I think our viewers will find the show both relatable repulsive . And highly entertaining alarming.”

Yep. I will be tuning in to THAT every Sunday night. Somehow after watching that Hot Mess going to work on Monday mornings doesn’t seem so bad!

What TRASHY SUMMER TV will YOU be watching?