Baby Mama – The Movie

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* Would you put your eggs…in this basket? *

Okay. The only reason I am even doing a “MOVIE REVIEW” can be found here.

Now. Let me start by saying I went to see this totally-super-awesome-crazy-funny-over-the-top-hilarious movie knowing full well that I am partial when it comes to ‘All Things’ Tina Fey. As far as I am concerned, watching still frames of her facial expressions on a continual loop would get a 5 Star rating.

That being said; to all of you non Tina Fey fans out here who may not agree with my ‘movie review’ all I can say is….“Suck It.”

And now, for my completely unbiased movie review.

First of all, did anyone reading this know that Steve Martin & Greg Kinnear had roles in this movie? Because I certainly did not. (I refused to Google or subject myself to any information about this movie other than the commercial advertisements on television.) I prefer the element of surprise. And it worked. Not knowing that information made for one hellova an added bonus. Not only did they ‘appear’ in the movie, they had pivotal roles.

Steve Martin (Rob) looked fantastic as the grey-long-haired-pony-tailed-new-age-corporate-mogul, owner of the company ‘Round Earth Food’. He was simply fabulous as Tina Fey’s eccentric boss. But after watching his character in action I promise to never Reward Someone for a job well done with a 5 solid minutes of unbreakable eye contact.

Greg Kinnear (Barry) played the role of an ex-lawyer gone Super Fruity Smoothie Juice Store owner taking a stand against ‘The Man’ (complete with naming one of his beverages after a knock-knock joke). Without giving too much away, he has quite an ‘interaction’ with Tina.

Tina Fey plays the lead roll of ‘Kate Holbrook’. A thirty-seven year old, single woman, career driven, Vice President, and childless. To fill the void in her life, she is forced to pay $100,0000.00 for a surrogate mother. Due to her T-shaped uterus, which, according to the ‘PC Guy’ from the Apple commercials, leaves her with a one in a million chance of ever becoming pregnant.

Amy Poehler plays the role of Angie. Not only does she agree to carry Kate’s fertilized eggs as the surrogate (and she is capable of reading people’s auras), she also ends up moving into Kate’s apartment. Having nowhere else to go, after leaving her white trash boyfriend.

Dax Shepard (Carl) is Angie’s white trash ex-boyfriend sporting two of the greatest license plates I have ever seen. The first is the declaration of his infinite love to his woman proven by the plate “MYGRLROX”. The second plate is basically my motto, stating “BRING IT” upon their first arrival to Kate’s apartment for the interview process.

Add Sigourney Weaver as (Chaffee Bicknell) the owner of the sort of creepy surrogacy service to this already terrific cast, and the laughs really come rolling in.

I have to say Romany Malco (Oscar) who plays the roll of Kate’s doorman, steals some of the comedy thunder right from Jump Street.

Now, I would hate for someone to have spoiled this movie for me, so I will NOT tell you the twist, turns, and the VERY Big Surprise(s) that happen during the course of this incredibly adorable flick.

You are just going to have to see the movie for yourself to find out what the hell I am talking about. (Or come back in a few weeks/months when the ‘secret’ has been leaked to the universe and we can talk about it in the comments then.)

In the meantime, I will tell you some of my favorite lines and scenes.

(If you didn’t see this movie (which I highly recommend) this part of my post will NOT make any sense to you. But…if you are one of the ‘Cool Kids’ and you did see this movie, please enjoy revisiting these fine moments.)

Some of my favorite quotes are as follows:

Angie (lover of all things fast food) is practically being force-fed ‘healthy pregnant food’ by Kate. Angie’s only rebuttal? Proclaiming, “Organic food is strictly for rich people who hate themselves.”

Kate is trying to teach Angie how everything she does affects the baby while the doorman (Oscar) is present during the ‘lecture.’

Kate: “What you eat, the baby eats. What you listen to, the baby listens to.”
Oscar: “If you listen to DMX, the baby comes out goin’ “Ennngghhh!”

Angie is in court (for reasons I will not disclose) when she announces, “I have the freedom of speech, look it up…it’s in that thing…”

When Angie is in labor she screams, “Drugs! I need Drugs! This feels like I am shitting KNIVES!”

Angie’s water breaks in the middle of the street. Kate grabs her ready to make a dash to the hospital. Angie turns to Kate and says, “Wait, should we clean that up?” (Pointing to the puddle she left curbside.)

I now know the definition of the term ‘Manorexic’ really means a gay man who is afraid of ending up with two fatties.

I also know that should I ever become pregnant and have another child, I will need the baby stroller with side impact Air Bags. Just to be on the safe side.

And, that if I was ever to break up with a man like Carl, I would need to “Consider All Of My Friends Getting Banged By Him.”

Some of my favorite scenes are as follows:

The Interview.
(When Angie & Carl show up at Kate’s apartment). The truck alone they are driving is hilarious. Angie & Carl execute the perfect stereotypical W.T. behavior and lingo while Kate is left following them around her gorgeous home while placing coasters underneath all of the beverages being haphazardly placed on her fine hard wood surfaces.

The Prenatal Vitamin Scene.
After numerous attempts to get Angie to take her pre-natal vitamins, Kate resorts to drastic measures. Much like humans trying to get their dogs to swallow medications.

The Shower Scene.
Yes people! There is a ‘shower scene’ featuring both Angie (Amy) & Kate (Tina). I am sorry I cannot reveal any more intimate details about that. (Except that there is also hair dye involved.)

The Karaoke Revolution ‘American Idol Edition’ Scene.
Let’s just say Kate should not sing under any circumstances, ever, again. However, when she is paired up with Angie to sing ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’ I just about fell out of my chair.

Gone Clubbing Scene.
Angie is afraid to tell Kate some news. In order to soften the blow Angie decides to take Kate out to a club and get her drunk. Indeed Kate becomes plastered and proceeds to ‘dance’ a ‘jig’ in super slow motion dead center of the club while dressed like a hooker.

(Watching a drunken Tina Fey ‘Bust A Move’ on the giant silver screen? Priceless.)

Before Kate runs into her ex-boyfriend in the club, she convinces the DJ to give her an opportunity at the turntables. You will never guess what song she chose to blast over the speakers.

After Kate runs into her ex-boyfriend, we find out that he is the proud father of THREE (and she cant have babies) with a smoking hot wife, and had suffered a serious bicycle accident which left him … a Larger Penis.

Finally, after exiting the club, Angie, proceeds to inflict some irreversible damage upon Kate’s ex-boyfriends car. When all Kate wanted to do was, “Leave A Silly Note”.

Kate’s ‘Space’ Car Scene.
We’ve all been there. You know what happens when you are the passenger trying to get in or out of a car that you are unfamiliar with? Inevitably you land in the bad timing tug of war pulling on the door handle at the same time the driver is trying to unlock the vehicle for you. Except these two brought that scene to a whole new level.

The Court House.
I can’t tell you why they were there and I can’t tell you what happened when they were there. But, I can tell you THAT was one of my FAVORITE parts of the entire movie.

The Hospital Scene.
Aside from feeling like she was “Shitting Knives” Angie begins to grab hold of the IV attached to any other patient (dead or alive) begging to have that injected into her.

The baby name is yet another tidbit I am going to withhold from you. The reasoning behind the baby’s name? HYSTERICAL.

There are so many other good scenes and so many other great lines. I am sure I have missed some of those quotes this post. And, I am sure that I missed tons while watching the movie because I was still laughing at the previous scene or line.

Yep.

I am going to watch this movie again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

I am rushing out to get my bootlegged copy add my name to the waiting list for pre-ordering the DVD.

Okay Ya’ll.

That’s my review.

How many of you saw it? What was YOUR favorite quote / line / scene / character?

And, if you didn’t see it … are you planning on it?

8 thoughts on “Baby Mama – The Movie

  1. Pingback: Momma Mia, Mea Culpa » Blog Archive » Another Most Excellent Weekend

  2. Meleah, I have to say I DO NOT understand why you don’t have a paying job as a movie critic. This was so well written. My God, I am so impressed. I now definitely want to see the movie but I also want to read more of your reviews. Well done!

  3. Selma:

    Really? No way!! I was worried this was too long…Thank you for that wonderful inspirational comment.

    My favorite REVIEWS to do are for movies and oddly commercials! I will be doing a movie ‘review’ on Sex In The City. Opening May 30th..so I will be sure to let you know when that is live and on the net!

    xxoo

  4. That was great; you reminded me of some really kick-ass scenes that I had already forgotten! I was laughing like mad remembering those scenes again. I think some fave scenes to add were when they’re screaming about the gum under the table, and she’s like “BITCH, I DON”T KNOW YOUR LIFE!!!” I just about died at that scene. And the group therapy scene after that is just priceless. If you live in NYC, the ‘manorexic’ and Amy Poeller both act together in a comedy improv group called “Assscat 3000” at UBC. I just loved his cameo.

  5. Pingback:   Tina Fey, Liz Lemon — Momma Mia, Mea Culpa

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